Switching blogs

blissenthusiast.wordpress.com

What do you want?

This quote by Jeffrey R. Holland has really had me thinking in the last week or so since it was shared in General Conference. It's made me think about what I want, and if I can be aiming higher.

Often, what I want actually holds me back from being happy. Wanting to finish another season of The Office usually wins over me wanting to study. Wanting to sleep in an extra hour or two wins over me working out that day.

In the moment, doing those things I want feels pretty good... But it's when my test score comes back and I worry about my GPA, and when I walk up a set of stairs and feel so out of breath, that I realize that my "wants" truly are holding me back from living a better life.

Wanting to stay in my comfort zone wins over me going out and trying something new, nine times out of ten. How many great opportunities have I missed? How many people could I have met? How much time have I wasted?

I want to want better.

Elk Island (no elk, just buffalos)

(In which I forgot to turn my ISO down, making the quality kind of awful. Sigh.)

Last Thursday, I got to go to Elk Island National Park with my Comm Tech group from high school.

   Megan, Mo, Connor, and I walked around with our cameras to try and find good spots to take pictures (the second picture is what pretty much everything looked like though). We were actually super surprised that we got to see a couple of buffalo grazing by the road. 

   After a while, we found a shelter to make a fire. One and a half boxes of matches and one hour later, we finally got a good fire going... A good fire that burned out in five minutes. Yes, I know, I am ashamed.

   It was good to be able to see my friends, and great to get behind my camera again. It had been too way long!

Kaitlyn

A letter to the new year

Dear 2016,

We've been together for almost a whole month now. You've seen me at my best, and you've now officially seen me at my worst. Although not all of our moments together so far have been sunshine and sparkle, I have a really great feeling about this relationship. Already, you have brought me so much hope! You have helped me to see both the great things I already have and the amazing possibilities ahead. Already, you have brought me so many moments that have brought me closer to God.

2016, you have seen already how I say I will do a lot of things, and how I rarely do those things to the best of my ability (I don't even remember what my resolutions were...). This is how I've always been, but I want to make you proud. At the end of this relationship, I want to look back and be proud of myself too.

I'm hoping to take a lot more pictures and blog a lot more. I'm hoping to be able put others before myself and actively look for ways to serve. I would love to go on more adventures and try more things I haven't before. I would love for this to be my happiest year yet.

2016, I can't wait to run, explore, laugh, cry, and grow with you.

Lots of love,
Kaitlyn

 

 

 

Let's talk about depression

I have depression. It can make life very hard some times. The reason I don't post much to this blog isn't forgetfulness, it's the I-have-no-motivation and I-have-nothing-good-to-say feelings that I find myself with whenever I think of posting. 
I'm really OK for the most part. I've gotten the help I need, and because of that, I'm happy and healthy and I am doing things with my life. (Woo!)
But bad days still happen... days when my depression creeps up on me and makes everything wrong. Excitement turns into anxiety. Motivation turns into laziness. Love turns into loneliness. Smiles turn into tears. All of this wrongness fills me up, and it feels like I could just BURST.
When I have my bad days, it feels like all of my progress has been thrown away, like I'm not better at all... It can feel like my life is over. But here's the thing: that isn't true! That is so not true. One little setback is not the end. I have come so far. Things will never be perfect, but they WILL get better.

"Also let us remember that through any illness or difficult challenge, there is still much in life to be hopeful about and grateful for. We are infinitely more than our limitations or our afflictions!"

-Elder Jeffrey R Holland

Kaitlyn

Concerts and beauties

Gillian took me to One Direction VERY last minute. She texted me maybe half an hour before we needed to go... Lots of speeding and lots or running happened. We made it right on time and had such a fun time!

 

 Mikylah and I had ANOTHER summer of concerts! I didn't really take any pictures at Ed Sheeran (which was amazing and beautiful), but we took tons at Taylor Swift! We lit up our dresses and made a sign... we definitely annoyed our section with how bright we were! The 1989 tour was so good, Taylor Swift never ever disappoints. I love going full-on crazy fangirl with this girl!

 

In my happy place

On Thursday, my mom and I drove down to my favourite place on earth. We spent three nights in Waterton in our motor home with my aunt Steph. (The first night, we were ASSAULTED by moths, there were like 30 of them hiding out in there!) We had a great spot with just the right amount of shade, right up by the mountains. (B5!!)

During our time in Waterton, we "hiked" to Akamina Lake from Cameron Lake (it was more of a stroll), walked through the town site, ate tons of ice cream, played in Red Rock Canyon, and visited Cameron Falls.

We did end up spending all of Saturday at the Boat Club for this year's pig roast. It was boiling hot this weekend, so we spent quite a bit of time on the water kayaking, tubing, and swimming. Despite the resulting sun burns and sore muscles, it was such a good day!

I'm so grateful for this beautiful world our Heavenly Father has created for us, and for the wonderful family I'm a part of!

♥ Kaitlyn

Sunset yoga and kayaks

I had the best weekend. My mom and I decided to go spend a couple of nights at the Boat Club, and it was 100% worth it. We spent so much time floating around in kayaks (I'm super sore from rowing), catching and eating fish, and playing Scattergories. On the second night, a thunderstorm cleared and left behind a gorgeous sunset... which of course led to my mom, my aunt, and me having a (completely dorky) sunset yoga photoshoot.

I am so thankful for the time I was able to spend with my grandparents, aunt, and momma. I have such an amazing family, and the world is so beautiful. I'm happy.

Kaitlyn

I don't know

Honestly, I've been struggling.
YSA has been such a lonely experience for me... I've felt unwanted and unnoticed.
I'm starting to question my choices about school... Do I actually want to take another year off? Do I want to go into a different program?
I thought maybe this was all because I'm supposed to go on a mission... After praying and going into General Conference with the question in mind, the answer I got was a no.
I feel very stuck. But I KNOW God has a plan for me, and I know that I have a purpose. I just have no idea what it is. I'm going to keep praying to and trusting in Him, and working towards happiness.

 

Kaitlyn

My best friend

My mom is the greatest blessing in my life. I can't imagine how hard it must be for her to raise two teenagers on her own while juggling work and church callings. She is so brave and so caring. I am so grateful to be able to joke around with her and tell her everything. There is so much trust and love in my relationship with my momma... I don't know what I would do without her!
Happy Mother's Day. <3

Kaitlyn

Filling in (some of) the gap

Well, I haven't posted in a while. I really want to try to get into blogging again, but I feel so strange starting with a huge gap in time on my blog! It feels like I should have mentioned that dating in YSA is weird but very fun. It feels like I should have talked about how nannying can either be amazing or dreadful. So much more is missing!

So, here are some photos from a couple of happy times since I last posted... Just so that I can feel a little less weird about coming back.



 

New Years Day

 

 

 

Arizona

Mesa Temple Easter Pageant, ghost towns, tons of pool time

 

 

Gratitude

For the last week or so, I've felt really down. My motivation was gone and I felt like life wasn't really worth living. I didn't know what had changed! I was so happy only a couple of weeks ago....
A couple of weeks ago was Thanksgiving, and everyday for 15 days leading up to it, I would list 3 things I was grateful for.
I've realized that since I stopped doing that, I've also stopped looking for recognizing all the blessings in my life, and I think that's had such a big hand in why I've felt so blah.

What I ended up with at the end of those 15 days is a hodgepodge list, but it shows that there are so many things of different magnitudes to be grateful for. This is that list:

• My friendship with my mom, my little brother, colourful pens
• My warm bed, medication, literature
• My health, good music, opportunities to serve
• The Scriptures, the Internet, public transportation
• Institute, being alive, Tim Horton's
• General Conference, Latter-day prophets, Joseph Smith
• The Atonement of Christ, the power of the Holy Ghost, prayer
• Sweaters, exercise, hymns
• Water, my home, having graduated
• Breakfast foods, hair straighteners, dark lipstick
• Concerts, airplanes, driving
• My little cousins, missionaries, the sacrament
• Road trips, autumn, dreams
• Cats, cuddling, photo albums
• Fire, turkey dinners, LOVE

I am alive and healthy. I have family, friends, and a Heavenly Father who love me so much. I have all that I need and more, and I am so grateful!

Kaitlyn

Thanksgiving and my cute family

I am SO thankful for my family. I had an awesome weekend full of road trips, kayaks, turkeys, pictures, and cats. :)

Kaitlyn

Kayaking is scary

 Kayaking with my family this weekend was so fun! Our timing with the weather was PERFECT, and the lake was BEAUTIFUL. The water was low enough to be surrounded by beach, and it was so pretty. And the leaves! The entire ground was covered in gold.
However, nothing was more beautiful than my borrowed skort and water shoes. Kayaking has never been so stylish.
I almost fell in a couple of times, but I had a darn good time doing it!

Kaitlyn

Luke Bilyk

So, I got to meet Luke Bilyk (Drew on Degrassi). This was a little over a week ago, and it was sooo exciting! He was so genuinely nice and funny and cute. I'm still super happy about it. :)